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A Day in the Life of Joe Republican

(h/t: Michael - This was originally circulated via email a few years ago - author unknown)

A Day in the Life of Joe Republican

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too.

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Joe also forgets that his in addition to his federally subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded university.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards to go along with the tax-payer funded roads.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans.

The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."


Note: Wizbang Blue is now closed and our authors have moved on. Paul Hooson can now be found at Wizbang Pop!. Please come see him there!

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Comments (7)

michael:

Excellent article for Labor Day as a lot of the accomplishments really do reflect improvements in the life of the worker.

The attitude toward Labor on the Wizcrap main site is showing today w/ that p.o.s. by management toadie Jay Tea, the one who got a huge signing bonus of $100 for his job "promotion" a few mpnths back.

Allen:

Lee,

You hit the nail on the head with this one. If what michael just posted is correct, wonder how he is going to invest his "signing bonus?" But you have to remember that he gets a "title" to go with his job.

But that is his choice, and more power to him. Thanks to the union, I was able to retire at 56, been over 7 yrs now that I've been retired, and enjoying every minute of it. Also, due to a decent wage I and my wife put all 5 kids through college and two of them thru to their Masters.

Great post, Lee. Conservatives want all the benefits of a safe society provided by Liberals in the last century, yet bitterly oppose those values in their weird cultlike belief system where good is bad and bad is good. This reminds me of the "Bizarro World" from the Superman comics I read as a kid, where school students on this weird backwards land were rewarded for remembering the wrong answers to questions and everything is the opposite of good or right. Such is often the "Bizarro World" of many modern-day reactionaries, who often think that ignorance and outright arrogance is a political ideology, as contrasted to some thinking conservatives of the past such as George Will or Barry Goldwater who had a far more evolved logic system. You can blame some like Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter for creating a climate of arrogance and ignorance among many on the right. They are indeed rotten role models.

Lee Ward:

The lying, hypocritical right is sad, and Limbaugh and Coulter are just sad scum .. They float on top until you decide to get your hands dirty and clean up the mess.

We did some clean up on November 7, 2006, but there is clearly more needed.

Lee Ward:

Allen - You're right, it _is_ Jay's choice. More power to him.

And more power to you! Congratulations my friend! You have very right to be proud.

Hard work, paying off for the working men and women - it's the American way. Why some Americans are content to let that dream slip away at the same time they support a political party that strips away constitutional freedoms is beyond me.

And that they call themselves "conservatives" is Bizarro all right. Let's call them "the lost Americans," and hope they find their way back to this great country.

Ryan:

This is a really great post. Would you mind if I copied it to email it around to my Republican friends if I credit you as the author?

Lee Ward:

Please DO NOT credit me, I'm not the author. This is something that was emailed around the web circa 2004 from what I understand. The author is unknown.


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Publisher: Kevin Aylward

Editors: Lee Ward, Larkin, Paul S Hooson, and Steve Crickmore

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