At last, George W Bush has a job offer for a position that he's actually qualified for...
George Bush gets job offer as hardware store greeter
Texas businessman suggests the job will be 'less stressful' than Bush's position as US president
His dad went sky diving on his 80th birthday. Bill Clinton became a powerhouse in the world of international aid. Even Jimmy Carter, for many the model of a failed president, built houses for the homeless and did his bit for world peace.
So how will George Bush spend his post-presidential time? A chain of hardware stores in his home state of Texas has come up with a career plan, offering the former president a job as a greeter at its outlet in Dallas.
Greeters, whose smiling presence at the entrances of megastores are meant to make them seem less overwhelming, are ordinarily retirees.
Now remember - I said a job offer he's qualified for, and he certainly isn't over-qualified.
In a letter on the company website, and published in an ad in the Dallas Morning News, Kyle Walters says: "We're confident that your experience working in your own family business, as well as your skills developed throughout years of meeting with foreign dignitaries would make you an excellent candidate for the position," Walters wrote.
"Furthermore, like you, many of our greeters are retired from the corporate world, so we're sure you'll have no trouble making new friends."
The letter goes on to list benefits. One of them would apparently be the chance to wear a company name tag with a big red W on it.
The company printed a replica with the letter.
And this is an offer GWB should seriously consider:
Others might think a greeter's job a less than illustrious career choice for a former president. Bush's father went on to a lucrative job as an adviser to the Carylye Group investment firm. Clinton has earned more than $90m for his speeches. Even Carter has become a best-selling author, with titles on the Middle East and even fly fishing.
But Bush may have more limited options. Speaking and publishing agents have been less than enthusiastic about booking the former president. Several of the investment banks and other corporations that used to book celebrity speakers have gone under or are constrained by the US government bail-out.
Bush, because of his historic unpopularity, also has been an easy target since leaving office.
But then at a time when unemployment is at its highest point in 18 years, a job is a job.
The businessman told reporters his offer was serious. "We think you'll find working with us much less stressful than your last job," the letter said.
Oh, GWB wasn't stressed. The chimp always had a smile on his face, no matter how badly he was screwing the nation.
"Screwing the Nation" - hey, Bush does have relevant hardware experience!
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